Spam is out of this world
By Adam Turner
April 1, 2004
A torrent of interplanetary spam has been found responsible for crippling
the onboard computer of NASA's Spirit rover in January.
Spirit lay crippled on the Martian surface for two weeks after a glitch in
its onboard spam filtering saw countless offers of pornography and cheap
drugs choke its flash memory, according to NASA spokeswoman Shirley Knott.
"It would appear Russian spammers obtained Spirit's email address from a
leaked internal NASA mailing list," says Knott.
"The rover's limited onboard artificial intelligence was foolish enough to
apply for an shonky online marketing diploma. Soon after offers of cheap
WD40 and antenna enlargements began clogging the link between Mars and
NASA's Deep Space Network. Eventually, Spirit's file management software
choked and sent a distress message to the central processor which kept
rebooting."
Technicians solved the problem by upgrading the artificial intelligence on
both Spirit and its twin Opportunity.
"The rovers now have enough sense not to respond to spam or open unknown
email attachments, which makes them smarter than your average person," says
Knott.
The news comes too late for the British Mars probe Beagle 2, which is
believed to have fallen prey to a Martian strain of the Nigerian money
laundering scam.
Controllers have been unable to remotely reset the probe and expect it to
keep bombarding the earth with spam for eternity, introducing itself as the
brother of former Martian president Joseph Estrada and appealing for help to
transfer money back to earth.
Click on: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap040401.html
then the link "intense on Mars" in the explanation, then the "April Fools"
link on the NASA site.
--
Bob Schmall
Not one shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
Richard Feynman