Soliciting a little OT humor

In article <[email protected]>, Mark
<[email protected]> wrote:

> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief.

A good friend's mom used to work in a law office... Sending the summer
student to the stationer's for a box of "verbal agreement forms" was a
tradition there.

I work for a newspaper. Until we went direct to plate, we ran a couple
of imagesetters (basically high-end laser printers that produce film
negatoves rather than paper prints). One of our new staffers was sent
to another department to see if they had any "liquid elliptical
halftone dots" as we were out.

The head of that department ripped the poor guy a new one, ranting
about the extravagance of using liquid in our department when his
department had to buy the dry stuff and mix their own.

djb

--
There are no socks in my email address.

"Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

In article <[email protected]>, cowtown eric
<[email protected]> wrote:

> Same mag, different issue, a major woodscrew mfg had a double page spread
> advertising their wares with a large picture of a wood screw . Someone
> reversed the negative, cause it was a "left handed" thread.

I work for an agricultural newspaper in western Canada... a number of
years ago we ran an ad for a dessicant for field peas (dries the peas
prior to combining).

The press crew thought there had to be something wrong with the "after"
photo and worked their asses off to make it nice and green... Too bad
it was supposed to be brown.

djb

--
There are no socks in my email address.

"Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

cowtown eric wrote:

> the CEO of a major big box store being given an aura of "tool
> knowledge" by his PR folks was pictured on the cover holding a woodie
> jointer plane. Too bad the blade was upside down, and the wedge was
> under the blade.

A picture on the box of a Sears Craftsman bench saw showed a guy getting
ready to cut a sheet of ply. If the saw was away from the wall he could
have done it.

-- Mark

I have a friend that once worked at a printing shop. They routinely broke
in a new employee by making him/her get the "paper strecher". I'm told the
search usually took all day.... Phils got it -> Phil: Daves got it -> Dave:
Saras got it ->... Great way to meet the whole staff!

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

I remember when I was 16 working with a plumbing outfit during the summer.
We were working on a small shopping centre that was being built. The
foreman sent me off to one of the other sites to get a roll of plastic
grappler strap. Of course I did as I was told, and was subsequently sent
from site to site looking for this non-existant product. After figuring
this out I went back red faced to the delight of many. A couple of weeks
later the same foreman sent me off to another sight for some "blonde hair".
I went to the other site had a coffee, BS'd a bit with the guys, and cruised
slowly back to work. Imagine the embarrassment when I found out that
"blonde hair" is like teflon tape for sealing pipe threads. Not to mention
the ass chewing for being gone for a hour. Never forgot that one.

Paul
"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

I knew a machinist years ago that used to be in the navy. The captain
was always complaining to him that the coffee wasn't strong enough (he
was a cook on board), no matter how strong he made it.

One day while on shore leave, he found a spoon made from eutectic
alloy (low melting temperature below 212 degrees F). He bought it,
and used it the next time the cap'n wanted coffee. As he delivered
the requested cup and saucer, the spoon was on the saucer and he told
the captain, "I hope the coffee is strong enough *this* time, sir."

The chief put the spoon in to stir the beverage, noticed something
amiss, pulled it out to find it was partially gone, looked furtively
about to see if anyone was watching, then quietly pitched it overboard.
Nothing was ever said again about coffee being strong enough.

CE

Sometimes the newbies are smarter.....

Working as a student at a Canadian Forces Base Trades shop, another student
was sent to the paint shed at the far back of the yard to find the
checkered paint. Took him all day. And as it was the paintshop foreman who
sent him, well needless to say his frustration ws his own fault....

meanwhile on another bent.... seen in a hardware retailers trade mag....

the CEO of a major big box store being given an aura of "tool knowledge" by
his PR folks was pictured on the cover holding a woodie jointer plane. Too
bad the blade was upside down, and the wedge was under the blade.

Same mag, different issue, a major woodscrew mfg had a double page spread
advertising their wares with a large picture of a wood screw . Someone
reversed the negative, cause it was a "left handed" thread.

Or the small town hardware store being scoped out for parts for old
tools....in response to the question "do you have any plane blades" clerk
(the one who musta spilled the purple paint on her hair) responds "do you
mean propellors??

Big box, small box, they all dumb down at the same rate.

Eric

Lionel wrote:

> When I was an electronics technician in the Navy back in the days of vacuum
> tubes, I happened to see my best friend standing at the FASRON parts counter
> with a long line of grumbling sailors behind him. The stock clerk was
> nowhere in sight.
> "Whatcha waiting for, Stinky (Steineke)?"
> "The chief sent me after a fallopian tube."
> I managed to get him away before the stock clerk came back mad. The chief
> had gotten both of them.
>
> Lionel

Oh, come on! No wonder he couldn't get one. Everybody knows fallopian tubes
come in pairs.

Other items to be sent for in the USN:

100' of water line
sound powered telephone batteries
gas tight envelopes

Or you could be sent to the galley with a message for Barney Noble.
(The barney noble is the air vent over the stove.)

ARM

Mark wrote:
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-( Sending
> them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in a single
> story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand drills cuz he
> was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting tool steel in
> the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

When I was framing houses, and working with a new guy, there were, of
course, times when he would cut a board 1/2" or so short. So he got sent
to the tool trailer for the left-handed board stretcher. Later he would
come back saying that he couldn't find it ;-), we would send him to ask
Barry (our foreman) if it is in his truck. If the guy hadn't figured it
out by then, he needed the chewing out from that fiery red-head.

> Mark <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Muffler bearings was another good one

We had a new kid that was shown how to load a car on the rack and do a
simple tire
rotation. We told him we pride ourselves on neatness and stuff so we
told him to
clean the hubcaps, do a quick brake pad inspection, air pressure check,
etc. The
fun part was how we told him to be sure and install the hubcaps with the
emblems all
oriented the proper (upright) direction. After lowering the car and
backing it out of
the garage, we'd point out that all the hubcaps were put on crooked.
Being the good kid
he was, he'd pull them off and put them back on straight. He never did
catch on....

-Bruce


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We used to get the rookie to "help" adjust a brake light switch by telling
when the brake lights were on and when they were off... I just about died
laughing when he stood at the back of the car saying "on" and "off" about a
thousand times before he caught on...while i was just pushing the pedal in
and out after installing the switch... hehehehe

Another tech in the shop sent the same kid to the parts store for a can of
spray on gasket remover....We all chuckled when the kid came back with a can
of it made by Permatex... It was in the top of that tech's toolbox after
that as a reminder...he had to buy it too.. We all ragged him for weeks
too....

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Bruce Rowen wrote:
>
> > the garage, we'd point out that all the hubcaps were put on crooked.
> > Being the good kid
> > he was, he'd pull them off and put them back on straight. He never did
> > catch on....
>
> *snort*
>
> That's just *mean*! :)
>
> --
> Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
> Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
> http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
>

In article <[email protected]>,
Jack <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>The Navy is chock full of these gags, the best we use include:

> - the mast crank to lower that mast as we approach a bridge...

On towboats on the Mississippi -- and some other rivers -- the _entire_
wheelhouse is on hydraulic lifts. For _exactly_ that purpose. Depending
on the craft, it is capable of 'bobbing' in excess of 8-10 _feet_.

First time you see it, particularly with a boat going _upstream_ (slowly),
It looks _really_ funny -- it ducks its head to go under the bridge.

Had a lot of time on your hands at the last forklift owning company you
worked for?

"mel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Not really a gag, but if you have a forklift bet someone you can pick up a
> dime with it. The trick is simply lower the blade at a slight angle till
it
> touches the floor beyond the dime. Back up dragging the blade and the
dime
> will flip up onto the blade easy as pie. Please forward 15% of all
winnings
> to me.
>
>
>

In article <040120041832170308%[email protected]>,
Dave Balderstone <[email protected]> wrote:
>In article <[email protected]>, cowtown eric
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Same mag, different issue, a major woodscrew mfg had a double page spread
>> advertising their wares with a large picture of a wood screw . Someone
>> reversed the negative, cause it was a "left handed" thread.
>
>I work for an agricultural newspaper in western Canada... a number of
>years ago we ran an ad for a dessicant for field peas (dries the peas
>prior to combining).
>
>The press crew thought there had to be something wrong with the "after"
>photo and worked their asses off to make it nice and green... Too bad
>it was supposed to be brown.
>

TRUE story -- this also happened during the making of at least one of
the STAR TREK episodes. Don't remember the precise name of the episode,
it's the one where they're on the planet, with the "Servers of Baal".
The planet has a -green- sky. For most of the first _week_ of shooting,
the prints kept coming back with the sky turned blue. So the prop
department makes it greener. On day 4, the film lab sends a note:

"What ARE you guys doing out there?? It's getting almost impossible
to process this and maintain a sky-blue color."


The memo that was fired off in response, was, well, *memorable*.

In article <[email protected]>,
cowtown eric <[email protected]> wrote:
>Sometimes the newbies are smarter.....
>
>Working as a student at a Canadian Forces Base Trades shop, another student
>was sent to the paint shed at the far back of the yard to find the
>checkered paint. Took him all day. And as it was the paintshop foreman who
>sent him, well needless to say his frustration ws his own fault....
>
>meanwhile on another bent.... seen in a hardware retailers trade mag....
>
>the CEO of a major big box store being given an aura of "tool knowledge" by
>his PR folks was pictured on the cover holding a woodie jointer plane. Too
>bad the blade was upside down, and the wedge was under the blade.
>
>Same mag, different issue, a major woodscrew mfg had a double page spread
>advertising their wares with a large picture of a wood screw . Someone
>reversed the negative, cause it was a "left handed" thread.
>
>Or the small town hardware store being scoped out for parts for old
>tools....in response to the question "do you have any plane blades" clerk
>(the one who musta spilled the purple paint on her hair) responds "do you
>mean propellors??
>
>Big box, small box, they all dumb down at the same rate.

Many years ago, I went into a Radio Shack, looking for a piece of TV
test/alignment equipment. Ask the saleskid if they had a "bar dot generator"
(it generates test paterns, including color-bars and a grid of dots.) He
looked real puzzled for a second, then his face lit up, as he replied
"Sure! If you want to generate them yourself" and showed me a Morse-code
key.


I couldn't decide whether to laugh, or cry.

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark

I haven't been in the position myself, but my wife (prior to taking her
current job as caregiver to two young girls) worked as a project engineer
for a very large construction company. The field engineers would have fun
with the rookies by sending them to the store for left-handed hammers and
laser level fluid.

todd

I worked at a telecom power supply manufacturer in the QC department and
part of the job was testing, and more often than not, repairing the problem
in place. We kept a small box of wire scrap and, if we were lucky, had a
roll of the necessary wire by the bench, but on occasion we came up short.
At one point I asked the new guy to go get the supervisor and bring back the
cable stretcher for a wire that was just a bit too short. We all watched as
he waddled off to the supervisors area and asked for the special tool (which
was in fact him).

Working part time in the post office many years ago I was asked to go get
the bag stretcher from the basement for the mail bags. Yeah I looked...
then caught on... :-)



"Fatty Mcgee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I have a friend that once worked at a printing shop. They routinely broke
> in a new employee by making him/her get the "paper strecher". I'm told
the
> search usually took all day.... Phils got it -> Phil: Daves got it ->
Dave:
> Saras got it ->... Great way to meet the whole staff!

Not really a gag, but if you have a forklift bet someone you can pick up a
dime with it. The trick is simply lower the blade at a slight angle till it
touches the floor beyond the dime. Back up dragging the blade and the dime
will flip up onto the blade easy as pie. Please forward 15% of all winnings
to me.

Muffler bearings was another good one, till Mitsubishi came out with a
tunable exhaust that had a movable internal baffle which pivots on guess
what??? Yup, bearings inside the muffler... Damn

Ratchet wrote:

> Back in the days when cars had points, plugs, and condensers, we had a
> hazing gag we played on new employees at the gas station where I worked.
> Remember, this was in the '60's, when a gas station might have half a dozen
> attendants. All the regulars would be in on the gag, which began with
> everyone standing around BSing.
>
> One of them, we'll call him the Perpetrator, would be holding a condenser,
> just fiddling with it in an offhand way. (The condenser was an aluminum tube
> about the size of a lipstick, with a black pigtail wire coming out one end.)
> At some point, the Perpetrator would hand the Victim the condenser, and of
> course the Victim would start twiddling it around, etc.
>
> Now, the thing about a condenser is, if you hold the pigtail up to a
> sparkplug of a running engine it will build up a charge of, oh, about sixty
> gazillion volts. It will hold that charge if you touch the barrel, and it
> will hold the charge even if you handle the pigtail. But if you touch both
> at the same time, it will zap you like a stone-age Taser.
>
> Of course it was only a matter of time before the Victim got around to
> completing the circuit, at which point the crew would laugh and laugh.
>
> Then there was the guy who'd periodically throw a lit cigarette into
> gasoline to prove (correctly, as it turned out) that it wouldn't ignite. But
> that's another story.
>
> Bob
>
> "Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>Greetings Wreckers,
>> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
>>trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
>>to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
>>doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
>>Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
>>a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
>>drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
>>tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
>>goes on and on....
>>
>> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
>>some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
>>different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
>>anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
>>Mark
>>
>
>
>

I once had a few students who needed to measure a rather long pipe. I
couldn't believe it when they took my suggestion of using an inch worm.
I've also asked for metric crescent wrenches along the way. The guys in the
shop were fantastic. When the student would go in and ask for the tool,
they'd rummage around a bit, and finally come back apologizing that someone
had already borrowed it, or the inchworm had died.

One day I wandered into the shop. Those fellows could barely stand up as
they recited their anecdotes about students coming in for one thing or
another.

Teaching chemical engineering was a lot of fun.

Michael




"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

My first real job was with a sheetmetal contractor. Nasty old coot with a
heart of gold. When he sent me out to the truck for a pair of left handed
snips. I told him your not going to get me with that old one, left handed
snips HA HA.
He jumped all over me and told me to get my ass out to the truck and bring
him the snips with the green handles. They really were left handed snips.

"Alan McClure" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
>
> Lionel wrote:
>
> > When I was an electronics technician in the Navy back in the days of
vacuum
> > tubes, I happened to see my best friend standing at the FASRON parts
counter
> > with a long line of grumbling sailors behind him. The stock clerk was
> > nowhere in sight.
> > "Whatcha waiting for, Stinky (Steineke)?"
> > "The chief sent me after a fallopian tube."
> > I managed to get him away before the stock clerk came back mad. The
chief
> > had gotten both of them.
> >
> > Lionel
>
> Oh, come on! No wonder he couldn't get one. Everybody knows fallopian
tubes
> come in pairs.
>
> Other items to be sent for in the USN:
>
> 100' of water line
> sound powered telephone batteries
> gas tight envelopes
>
> Or you could be sent to the galley with a message for Barney Noble.
> (The barney noble is the air vent over the stove.)
>
> ARM
>
>

Actually skyhooks are used in my shop, it's a legit phrase. But the
balancing kit for handheld stones... that's a different story altogether
<G>

Andy Dingley wrote:
> On Fri, 02 Jan 2004 23:33:38 GMT, Mark <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
>>some of the younger folks some grief.
>
>
> I liked the approach of a metal-bashing shop in Birmingham.
>
> Apprentices would be softened up by being sent for a box of skyhooks /
> left-handed hammers / a long weight (wait) / etc. a few times. Then,
> when they got wise to these tricks, they'd be sent for "a block of
> elbow grease"
>
> "Albo grease" is, of course, a well-known brand of polishing compound
> that's found in any sheetmetal or plating shop.
>
>
> --
> Smert' spamionam

Jack wrote:

> "Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>Greetings Wreckers,
>> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
>>trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
>>to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
>>doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
>>Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
>>a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
>>drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
>>tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
>>goes on and on....
>>
>> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
>>some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
>>different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
>>anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
>>Mark
>>
>
>
> The Navy is chock full of these gags, the best we use include:
> - Mail Bouy Watch, when the ship gets underway we will task the newest
> sailors and an occasional Ensign (junior officer) to man the Fo'c'sle in
> battle helmets with sound powered phones, binoculars, lifejackets and the
> longest, heaviest boat hook onboard to watch for the mail bouy. The OOD or
> the CO of the ship would often talk to them on the phones about the
> significance of the mail bouy while the rest of the ship's crew would come
> by the main deck to enjoy the search.
> - Down in the hole are the proud engineers that make the steam that is used
> for main propulsion, these guys are called Boiler Tech's or BT. We would
> often send a new guy down to the hole for a BT punch to remove that stuborn
> pin... amazing how many of them came back with a bruised arm (and ego).
> - Lookouts use relative bearings to report location of visual contacts, so
> it is a no brainer to send guys all over the ship for relative bearing
> grease.
> - the mast crank to lower that mast as we approach a bridge...
>
> Master Chief Jack
>

Yep. Being a former bubblehead (submariner for you landlubbers) nuke,
we had a ball w/ some of these. Send someone back to the engineroom for
a bucket of steam... Have sonar send someone to the electricians for
some new contacts... Send someone back to the engine room to feed the
shaft seals... someone sent a nub electrician new to the boat down to
the diesel room for a machinists punch during field day when all 12-13
mechanics were there - Ouch!)... later we arranged for a nub a-ganger to
be sent to Engine Room Forward (E-div field day space) for a roll of
electricians tape (looked like a mummy until they came and retrieved him).

The one that was really really bad was when the classic Mail Buoy gag
went a little too far... We had the guy all Barbie'd up in a pumpkin
suit, harness, the whole nine-yards. Everybody is just about dying
trying not to laugh, as we had him staged near the weapon shipping hatch
(normal personnel access when on the surface, which we *were not*!).
Then someone noticed Zippy was starting to crank on the opening
mechanism. Luckily there is a *lot* of backlash in that mechanism and
we dogpiled him before he got thru it all...

Ah, the good ole' days...

nuk

"Jack" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> The Navy is chock full of these gags, the best we use include:
> - Mail Bouy Watch, when the ship gets underway we will task the newest
> sailors and an occasional Ensign (junior officer) to man the Fo'c'sle in
> battle helmets with sound powered phones, binoculars, lifejackets and the
> longest, heaviest boat hook onboard to watch for the mail bouy. The OOD or
> the CO of the ship would often talk to them on the phones about the
> significance of the mail bouy while the rest of the ship's crew would come
> by the main deck to enjoy the search.
> - Down in the hole are the proud engineers that make the steam that is
used
> for main propulsion, these guys are called Boiler Tech's or BT. We would
> often send a new guy down to the hole for a BT punch to remove that
stuborn
> pin... amazing how many of them came back with a bruised arm (and ego).
> - Lookouts use relative bearings to report location of visual contacts,
so
> it is a no brainer to send guys all over the ship for relative bearing
> grease.
> - the mast crank to lower that mast as we approach a bridge...
>
> Master Chief Jack

Then there's sending the new Bosun's Mate apprentice down to the rope locker
for 100' of shoreline.

Nahmie

In the army I drove a tank. On thing that I remember was sending a new
recrut to supply for a bottle of squelch for the radio.
Jim

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

Roger wrote:
> We used to send the young ones out for some ST-1's (Spelled out it stone's.)
> But beware. When it was tried on me I spent three days at home drinking beer
> and getting paid. I'd call in every few hours to say I was sent to different
> places to get them. The people in the shop thought it was funny until the
> found out what I did.

I'll have to remember the ST-1's. Almost better than the 1D-10T
switches we used to refer to in the Navy.

nuk

Mark <[email protected]> wrote:
> Muffler bearings was another good one

Along the mechanic lines:

Back in the days, we hired a particularly dim-witted mechanic. We knew
he wouldn't last long when he arrived the first day with a grungy yellow
plastic bucket (more on this later) full of rusty tools. So much for that
fancy Snap-On tool chest he claimed to own.

His first task was to pull the head on some long forgotten 4-banger and
hand it off to the machine shop for a valve job. Things seemed to go pretty
well: manifolds, crusty head gaskets, carbs laying everywhere. So, I ignored
him and his plastic bucket until...

...A couple of days later (hey, I had my own stuff to work on), I wonder
why the head isn't back on and he's been sitting on the upturned yellow
bucket with his head in his hands. All his other jobs were "on hold".

Well, turns out Mr. Bozo was the religious type (no offense!). He was
PRAYING for God to show him where the head bolts were. Furthermore, he
INSISTED that I and the shop owner help him pray for his head bolts.

"WTF?!?"

I walked over to the poor headless car and the head bolts were laying on
the fender well, right where he had put them.

He exclaimed: "Oh Glory! I knew God would show me where they were!"

I think I broke my toe when I kicked that yellow bucket, and him, outa the
shop. It occurred to me that the aforementioned grunge on the bucket must
have been boot prints from uncountable previous employers.

Mikey

In article <[email protected]>,
Mark <[email protected]> wrote:
>Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
>trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
>to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
>doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
>Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
>a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
>drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
>tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
>goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
>some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
>different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
>anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>


There's the classic left-handed monkey wrench. But be careful, they *do*
exist -- they're just extremely rare. I happen to have one that I
inherited from my grandfather -- confusing as *hell* to use, till you
get used to it; it has a *left-hand* thread on the jaw adjustment

And the 'gallon of striped paint'.

Around the harbor, a request to fetch 50' of "shore line".

Around airplanes, "a bucket of prop wash", also "10' of alieron trim".


Don't forget the 'round tuit' -- the victim gets a raise, as soon as you
get a 'round toit'. and send him searching for one.



The April issue of Scientific American, particularly the "Amateur Scientist"
colum, going back many years, was often good for some _really_ funny stuff.

there is a tech-spec data-sheet running around somewhere, for a truely
famous IC chip. A "write-only memory". (anybody who understands much about
electronics, and is -not- familiar with it, is strongly encouraged to Google,
or similar, for it.)


Then there's the acronym games. Things like IITYWIGMAQ (Or substitute a K
for the Q, if in mixed company) What's _that_ mean? "If I tell you, will
you give me a quarter?" (or 'kiss').

Bruce Rowen wrote:

> the garage, we'd point out that all the hubcaps were put on crooked.
> Being the good kid
> he was, he'd pull them off and put them back on straight. He never did
> catch on....

*snort*

That's just *mean*! :)

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

The Navy is chock full of these gags, the best we use include:
- Mail Bouy Watch, when the ship gets underway we will task the newest
sailors and an occasional Ensign (junior officer) to man the Fo'c'sle in
battle helmets with sound powered phones, binoculars, lifejackets and the
longest, heaviest boat hook onboard to watch for the mail bouy. The OOD or
the CO of the ship would often talk to them on the phones about the
significance of the mail bouy while the rest of the ship's crew would come
by the main deck to enjoy the search.
- Down in the hole are the proud engineers that make the steam that is used
for main propulsion, these guys are called Boiler Tech's or BT. We would
often send a new guy down to the hole for a BT punch to remove that stuborn
pin... amazing how many of them came back with a bruised arm (and ego).
- Lookouts use relative bearings to report location of visual contacts, so
it is a no brainer to send guys all over the ship for relative bearing
grease.
- the mast crank to lower that mast as we approach a bridge...

Master Chief Jack

On Fri, 02 Jan 2004 23:33:38 GMT, Mark <[email protected]> wrote:

> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
>some of the younger folks some grief.

I liked the approach of a metal-bashing shop in Birmingham.

Apprentices would be softened up by being sent for a box of skyhooks /
left-handed hammers / a long weight (wait) / etc. a few times. Then,
when they got wise to these tricks, they'd be sent for "a block of
elbow grease"

"Albo grease" is, of course, a well-known brand of polishing compound
that's found in any sheetmetal or plating shop.


--
Smert' spamionam

Mark wrote:

> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.

First day on the job at McDonald's, back in high school... This guy I sort
of knew who was a friend of a friend kind of character... I didn't know
him well, but I knew him better than anyone else in the place, so I sort of
looked to him for guidance my first day on the job.

We got three busses, and in the middle of the ensuing chaos, he said "Quick,
get [the manager] to give you the keys. You need to run back to the
storage cage and get sesame seeds for the buns!"

So I did... Left my work area and went running around to find the boss,
then I asked her for the keys. "@%#!#^#%$ WHAT THE @#%@#!%#!# ARE YOU !
$!#!#@$!@$ KEYS FOR #!%!#%!#%!# YOU @#!%!@#%!@#%!@#%"

I almost got fired on the spot.

(Wow she was a BITCH. Hoooo boy she was a bitch. Thinking back, that was
the worst job I ever had, hands down. Paving roads was better, barely, and
paving roads SUCKS.)

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/

Then there is the one about sending the freshman from the wood shop to the
paint shop for Barber Pole paint and of course he was always sent back with
"What set of Colors" and then of course the Paint shop was missing one color
and they had to select a differant set and this could go on for hours.

So does anyone know what a drywall wrench is ??

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

We used to send the young ones out for some ST-1's (Spelled out it stone's.)
But beware. When it was tried on me I spent three days at home drinking beer
and getting paid. I'd call in every few hours to say I was sent to different
places to get them. The people in the shop thought it was funny until the
found out what I did.

Roger
"Dave Balderstone" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:040120041708298601%[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>, Mark
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> > some of the younger folks some grief.
>
> A good friend's mom used to work in a law office... Sending the summer
> student to the stationer's for a box of "verbal agreement forms" was a
> tradition there.
>
> I work for a newspaper. Until we went direct to plate, we ran a couple
> of imagesetters (basically high-end laser printers that produce film
> negatoves rather than paper prints). One of our new staffers was sent
> to another department to see if they had any "liquid elliptical
> halftone dots" as we were out.
>
> The head of that department ripped the poor guy a new one, ranting
> about the extravagance of using liquid in our department when his
> department had to buy the dry stuff and mix their own.
>
> djb
>
> --
> There are no socks in my email address.
>
> "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

Sometimes the newbies don't even need any encouragement from the
old guys. Years ago I was assigned a newly hired tech and I told him he
could fix a particular production line tester that was reported down again.
An hour later he walks back with a big smile on his face, a fuse in his hand,
and announces "I found the problem. The fuse is shorted!" A legend was
born that day.

Art

"Rossco in Oshawa" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I worked at a telecom power supply manufacturer in the QC department and
> part of the job was testing, and more often than not, repairing the problem
> in place. We kept a small box of wire scrap and, if we were lucky, had a
> roll of the necessary wire by the bench, but on occasion we came up short.
> At one point I asked the new guy to go get the supervisor and bring back the
> cable stretcher for a wire that was just a bit too short. We all watched as
> he waddled off to the supervisors area and asked for the special tool (which
> was in fact him).
>
> Working part time in the post office many years ago I was asked to go get
> the bag stretcher from the basement for the mail bags. Yeah I looked...
> then caught on... :-)
>
>
>
> "Fatty Mcgee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > I have a friend that once worked at a printing shop. They routinely broke
> > in a new employee by making him/her get the "paper strecher". I'm told
> the
> > search usually took all day.... Phils got it -> Phil: Daves got it ->
> Dave:
> > Saras got it ->... Great way to meet the whole staff!
>

Back in the days when cars had points, plugs, and condensers, we had a
hazing gag we played on new employees at the gas station where I worked.
Remember, this was in the '60's, when a gas station might have half a dozen
attendants. All the regulars would be in on the gag, which began with
everyone standing around BSing.

One of them, we'll call him the Perpetrator, would be holding a condenser,
just fiddling with it in an offhand way. (The condenser was an aluminum tube
about the size of a lipstick, with a black pigtail wire coming out one end.)
At some point, the Perpetrator would hand the Victim the condenser, and of
course the Victim would start twiddling it around, etc.

Now, the thing about a condenser is, if you hold the pigtail up to a
sparkplug of a running engine it will build up a charge of, oh, about sixty
gazillion volts. It will hold that charge if you touch the barrel, and it
will hold the charge even if you handle the pigtail. But if you touch both
at the same time, it will zap you like a stone-age Taser.

Of course it was only a matter of time before the Victim got around to
completing the circuit, at which point the crew would laugh and laugh.

Then there was the guy who'd periodically throw a lit cigarette into
gasoline to prove (correctly, as it turned out) that it wouldn't ignite. But
that's another story.

Bob

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>

When I was an electronics technician in the Navy back in the days of vacuum
tubes, I happened to see my best friend standing at the FASRON parts counter
with a long line of grumbling sailors behind him. The stock clerk was
nowhere in sight.
"Whatcha waiting for, Stinky (Steineke)?"
"The chief sent me after a fallopian tube."
I managed to get him away before the stock clerk came back mad. The chief
had gotten both of them.

Lionel

"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Greetings Wreckers,
> Since I put OT in the subject, don't bitch. As a diemaker I have
> trained quite a few apprentices. And one of the 'perks' is being able
> to have a little fun with some of the more naive ones. Too bad it
> doesn't offset the headaches that come with the territory. :-(
> Sending them to recycle old blueprints in the basement (when we work in
> a single story building), asking the foreman for a set of left hand
> drills cuz he was tapping some stock for left handed threads, putting
> tool steel in the owners fridge to 'thermally stabilize' it, etc. It
> goes on and on....
>
> Any stories from some of the more seasoned out there who have given
> some of the younger folks some grief. Even though I make my living in a
> different trade than this group, a lot of pranks can work almost
> anywhere. I'm sure there are some good stories floating around.
> Mark
>