I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to buy
AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we can
still win with the right weapons.
So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
Please help me to conquer the world.
Joe Barta wrote:
> Todd Airsushi wrote:
>
> > I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
> > Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to
> > buy AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
> >
> > But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we
> > can still win with the right weapons.
> >
> > So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears,
> > bows, x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
> >
> > Please help me to conquer the world.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Not sure if I can help you with weapons, but I got a cool idea for
> some wooden nipple clamps!
Good Lord!
Those won't conquer the world! You need a lathe. Make a handle. Drill a
hole in a 6"x 6"x 6" block to receive the handle. Drive a buncha'
framing nails (16's will do) about an inch into the block. Glue the
block onto the handle. Kill a cat with it. This will give you good
practice with it and will give your new mace the patina that you want.
Tom in KY, will send you some cats if you want.
Keep in mind that anything you smack with that new mace will have to be
shaken off vigorously so you can get another smack in. It may be more
work than you want to invest in your conquering of the world.
This NG seems to have a shared fetish for pointy sticks, so you may
want to redirect your request for help to the pointy stick masters.
Tom in KY, locking all of my doors. Ya' big buncha' pointy stick
carrying pervs. I bet you all drool all over yourselves when the LV
catalogs come in the mail. BTW, the cats are outside tonight, help
yourself.
Todd Airsushi wrote:
> So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
> x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
When I was a kid, we used to make a "gun" out of two spring-loaded
clothes pins. The ammunition for the "gun" was kitchen matches. Load
a match into the "gun", aim, shoot. The kitchen match would be lit as
it sped to its target.
Unfortunately, I can't remember how to make these guns anymore. Pity,
'cause they're way cool! The only thing I remember is that one of the
two clothes pins was used whole while the other one was somehow
cannibalized.
Please consider NOT RESPONDING to this attempted thread. If you must,
then
remove his tracking newsgroup and trophy case, is.vedur, from
the NEWSGROUPS line (or whatever it takes with _your_ newsreader to
prevent
crossposting).
Every month or so, using a fictitious name, this troll floods 5000
newsgroups (all cross-posted to one or more low-traffic but unrelated
"scorecard" newsgroups) with superficially relevant comments. The
purpose is to disrupt with off-topic crosspostings. Browse the
is.vedur newsgroup, his current score card, for the
"big picture" on the person you are replying to.
>this group is for megalomaniac trolls and spambots only who like
>to terrorize the usenet.
>
>Only fans of George W.Bush are allowed to post here, because we are
>fans of his greatness, Lord Bush.
>
>Atheists, heretics and witches are not allowed to post here and will
>be burned at the stake!
He is known as the "anagram troll" because his fictitious names are
often
discovered to be anagrams:
Sam Prune -----> Superman
Bruce K. Gros -----> Buck Rogers
Ron Main -----> Iron Man
Oliver Wen -----> Wolverine
Stevie Mormon -----> Monster Movie
Lance H. Albertin, Archie Tannbell, Caine Barthnell, Lachlan Bentier,
Lecter Cain Netherball, Cael Annblither, Cable Hartlinen, Cale
Labthinner,
Elchanan Riblet, Brant Halecline, Arnie N. Techball, Nathaniel Clerb,
Allan Niceberth, Brice-Allen Hant, Charan-Neil Belt, Thian Cellarben,
Albrecht Inlane
-----> Hannibal Lecter
Eliot Coweye -----> Wilee Coyote
Gerry Lintonice -----> Nitroglycerine
Tristan Beeline -----> Albert Einstein
Winnie Oakbob -----> Obi-wan Kenobi
Paul Eisner -----> Super Alien
Tom-Alex Soorhull -----> Homosexual Troll
Lester T. Linpord -----> President Troll
Karl Reitlos -----> Kaiser Troll
Rick Stoll -----> Sick Troll
Karl-Hugo Weesberg -----> George Walker Bush
Hans-Marc Olsen -----> Charles Manson
Eric Coldo -----> Crocodile
G.K. Konnig -----> King Kong
Brian Raab -----> Barbarian
Pablo Rena -----> Anal Probe
Patrick Kain -----> Captain Kirk
Alberto Panno-Peano -----> Napoleon Bonaparte
Ted Harvard -----> Darth Vader
Faith Dorell, Leah Lidtorf, Ralf Dieholt -----> Adolf Hitler
Blaine Adamson, Adam Ben Nalois -----> Osama Bin-Laden
Shane D. Maudiss -----> Sadam Hussein
Keith J. Crapper -----> Jack The Ripper
Stan J. Lefosi -----> Josef Stalin
Evan-Josh Roose -----> Jason Voorhees
Bruno Beam -----> Unabomber
Dan Simper -----> Spiderman
Other aliases he has used:
Charles Immey
Harlan Osier
Gerard Mindstep
>I'm the evil anagram troll and I like to create persons with names
>which are anagrams of something stupid.
>
>This would be a good idea for a screenplay, because people can try to
>find out the anagrams ...
-----
>Yes, without trolls, the usenet would implode, causing a black hole
>that would suck in the whole universe !!!
>
>That means, trolls are NECESSARY ! Trolls are the saviours of usenet !
>GOD himself gave trolls the mission to troll to save the universe !
>
>trollito ergo sum - I troll, so I am !
Like all trolls, he means to annoy and disrupt. The tracking newsgroup
is
the way he "keeps score" of how much damage he has caused. Don't put
yourself on display in his trophy case.
Google groups (the service the troll uses to post) has already
expressed
that will not take action based on complaints about this type of
behavior.
.:\:/:.
+-------------------+ .:\:\:/:/:.
| PLEASE DO NOT | :.:\:\:/:/:.:
| FEED THE TROLL | :=.' - - '.=:
| | '=(\ 9 9 /)='
| Thank you, | ( (_) )
| Management | /`-vvv-'\
+-------------------+ / \
| | @@@ / /|,,,,,|\ \
| | @@@ /_// /^\ \\_\
@x@@x@ | | |/ WW( ( ) )WW
\||||/ | | \| __\,,\ /,,/__
\||/ | | | jgs (______Y______)
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Todd Airsushi wrote:
> I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
> Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to buy
> AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
>
> But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we can
> still win with the right weapons.
>
> So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
> x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
>
> Please help me to conquer the world.
[email protected] wrote:
> On 26 Dec 2005 19:12:24 -0800, "Todd Airsushi"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
>
> I would start by planting a lot of castor bean bushes. That will get
> you ricin to make your pointy stick and trebuchet projectiles a little
> more formitable.
>
Dammit! You're all doing it again! Seven responses, all of which went
to "is.vedur" in addition to rec.woodworking. That's seven points for
the troll.
Don't you people look at the headers? Or read the discussion about
these gameing trolls a few days ago?
--
It's turtles, all the way down
Mon, Dec 26, 2005, 7:12pm (EST-3) [email protected]
(Todd=A0Airsushi) doth burble:
<snip> So how can we make good wooden weapons? <snip>
I'd start with a sharp axe.
JOAT
You'll never get anywhere if you believe what you "hear". What do you
"know"?.
- Granny Weatherwax
On 26 Dec 2005 19:12:24 -0800, "Todd Airsushi"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
>Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to buy
>AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
>
>But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we can
>still win with the right weapons.
>
>So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
>x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
>
>Please help me to conquer the world.
I would start by planting a lot of castor bean bushes. That will get
you ricin to make your pointy stick and trebuchet projectiles a little
more formitable.
As history shows, a bunch of guys with muskets will kick your ass.
Pat wrote:
> Todd Airsushi wrote:
>
>
>>So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
>>x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
>
>
> When I was a kid, we used to make a "gun" out of two spring-loaded
> clothes pins. The ammunition for the "gun" was kitchen matches. Load
> a match into the "gun", aim, shoot. The kitchen match would be lit as
> it sped to its target.
>
> Unfortunately, I can't remember how to make these guns anymore. Pity,
> 'cause they're way cool! The only thing I remember is that one of the
> two clothes pins was used whole while the other one was somehow
> cannibalized.
I remember it well - and could probably build you one in about a minute.
Hint: You need a small file or knife to do a little whittling, one
wooden clothes pin is used whole and the other one only serves to
provide cocking of the finished "weapon." Oh, yeah, don't forget the
electrical tape.
Now, go to your room/shop and make one. Those are enough hints to get
you done.<g>
Todd Airsushi wrote:
> I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
> Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to
> buy AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
>
> But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we
> can still win with the right weapons.
>
> So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears,
> bows, x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
>
> Please help me to conquer the world.
Not sure if I can help you with weapons, but I got a cool idea for
some wooden nipple clamps!
Todd Airsushi (in
[email protected]) said:
| I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army.
| Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to
| buy AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
|
| But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we
| can still win with the right weapons.
|
| So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows,
| x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
|
| Please help me to conquer the world.
Begin by planting tens of thousands of hardwood trees and have your
men care for them so the trees will grow straight, tall, and strong.
Return for additional instruction when your largest warrior cannot
reach all the way around any of the trees.
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html
<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Please consider NOT RESPONDING to this attempted thread. If you must,
> then
> remove his tracking newsgroup and trophy case, is.vedur, from
> the NEWSGROUPS line (or whatever it takes with _your_ newsreader to
> prevent
> crossposting).
>
Don't get your hopes up. It will probably fall on some deaf ears.
BTW, Todd Airsushi ---> Darth Sidious