But this one's been simmering for a few days...
A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and
loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and
found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the
shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that
won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance
while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large
t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the
length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able
to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and
forth.
I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked
at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it
was.
His reply?
"It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
rottenstone."
djb <ducking & running>
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
In article <190120051948281410%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca>,
Dave Balderstone <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca> wrote:
>But this one's been simmering for a few days...
>
>A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and
>loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
>
>He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and
>found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the
>shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
>
>As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that
>won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance
>while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
>
>He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large
>t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the
>length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able
>to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and
>forth.
>
>I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked
>at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it
>was.
>
>His reply?
>
>"It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
>rottenstone."
>
"... give the frog a loan."
I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific examples
ending with:
1) "... the squaws of the other two hides."
2) "... cornbread are square."
3) "... for immortal porpoises."
4) "... he's just Occident-prone."
5) "... obscene clone fall."
6) "... long long way to tip a rary."
7) "... the lessor of two weevils."
8) "... illegal levels of tuna in a Mercury."
9) "... nut screws washer and bolts."
Dave Balderstone wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>, alexy
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > 13) The beer that made Mill Famey walk us
>
> 14) A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me...
>
> --
> "The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it,
and B,
> sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
15) "you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think"
tim
In article <[email protected]>,
Joe C. <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"Robert Bonomi" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> In article <190120051948281410%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca>,
>> Dave Balderstone <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca> wrote:
>> >But this one's been simmering for a few days...
>> >
>> >A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and
>> >loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
>> >
>> >He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and
>> >found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the
>> >shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
>> >
>> >As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that
>> >won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance
>> >while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
>> >
>> >He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large
>> >t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the
>> >length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able
>> >to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and
>> >forth.
>> >
>> >I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked
>> >at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it
>> >was.
>> >
>> >His reply?
>> >
>> >"It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
>> >rottenstone."
>> >
>>
>>
>> "... give the frog a loan."
>>
>> I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific
>examples
>> ending with:
>>
>> 1) "... the squaws of the other two hides."
>>
>> 2) "... cornbread are square."
>>
>> 3) "... for immortal porpoises."
>>
>> 4) "... he's just Occident-prone."
>>
>> 5) "... obscene clone fall."
>>
>> 6) "... long long way to tip a rary."
>>
>> 7) "... the lessor of two weevils."
>>
>> 8) "... illegal levels of tuna in a Mercury."
>>
>> 9) "... nut screws washer and bolts."
>>
>>
>
>10) Officer, there's a small medium at large....
>
>
Television is a medium.
Proof: (a) it is not rare.
(b) it is not well done.
In article <[email protected]>, Buddy Matlosz
<[email protected]> wrote:
> This thread is quickly turning into a groanfest.
Turning into?
My intent was to start it as a...
Oh, nevermind.
djb
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
In article <[email protected]>, alexy
<[email protected]> wrote:
> 13) The beer that made Mill Famey walk us
14) A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me...
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
In article <[email protected]>,
<[email protected]> wrote:
> 15) "you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think"
Not a punchline to a shaggy dog, but Dorothy Parker was certainly one
of the great wits...
<http://www.quotationspage.com/search.php3?Search=&Author=Dorothy+Parker
&C=coles&C=lindsly&C=poorc&C=net&C=devils&C=contrib&page=1>
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
--When asked to use the word "horticulture" correctly in a sentence
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
"Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life. "
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be
surprised. "
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
with great force."
"i like to have a martini,
two at the very most -
at three i'm under the table,
at four, i'm under the host! "
"A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika."
djb
--
"I'm a man, but I can change... If I have to... I guess." -- Red Green
> "It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
> rottenstone."
I guess that's better than my Ghandi joke...
Ghandi wore no shows lots of times - so he was calloused.
Ghandi didn't eat much so he was thin and fragile.
Ghandi was said to be spiritual.
Ghandi fasted often and had bad breath.
Thus...
Ghandi was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-with-chronic-halitosis.
--
Regards,
Joe Agro, Jr.
http://www.autodrill.com
http://www.multi-spindle-heads.com
V8013
My eBay: http://tinyurl.com/4hpnc
"Dave Balderstone" <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca> wrote in message
news:190120051948281410%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca...
> But this one's been simmering for a few days...
>
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut
daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit but, one day, he
was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly,
he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the
bar.The doctor arrived, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, 'This isn't
a hazelnut daiquiri!'
'No, I'm sorry,' replied the bartender, 'it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.'
-Brian
"Robert Bonomi" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <190120051948281410%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca>,
> Dave Balderstone <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca> wrote:
> >But this one's been simmering for a few days...
> >
> >A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and
> >loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
> >
> >He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and
> >found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the
> >shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
> >
> >As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that
> >won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance
> >while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
> >
> >He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large
> >t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the
> >length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able
> >to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and
> >forth.
> >
> >I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked
> >at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it
> >was.
> >
> >His reply?
> >
> >"It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
> >rottenstone."
> >
>
>
> "... give the frog a loan."
>
> I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific
examples
> ending with:
>
> 1) "... the squaws of the other two hides."
>
> 2) "... cornbread are square."
>
> 3) "... for immortal porpoises."
>
> 4) "... he's just Occident-prone."
>
> 5) "... obscene clone fall."
>
> 6) "... long long way to tip a rary."
>
> 7) "... the lessor of two weevils."
>
> 8) "... illegal levels of tuna in a Mercury."
>
> 9) "... nut screws washer and bolts."
>
>
10) Officer, there's a small medium at large....
LRod wrote:
> On Fri, 21 Jan 2005 11:18:39 -0000, [email protected]
> (Robert Bonomi) wrote:
>
>
>
>>I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific examples
>>ending with:
>>
>> 1) through 9)
>
>
> 10) Pardon me, Roy...
>
>
11) We have come not to seize her berry, but to praise it.
"J.B. Bobbitt" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
What have we done to deserve this thread?
"Dave" <[email protected]> wrote:
> ...I couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this.
> ...that's a long way to tip a rary.
>
>
Carp to carp walleting.
I came to sieze your berry, not to praise it.
jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
>11) We have come not to seize her berry, but to praise it.
12) Oh, boy-foot bear with teak of Chan
13) The beer that made Mill Famey walk us
--
Alex -- Replace "nospam" with "mail" to reply by email. Checked infrequently.
On Fri, 21 Jan 2005 11:18:39 -0000, [email protected]
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:
>I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific examples
>ending with:
>
> 1) through 9)
10) Pardon me, Roy...
- -
LRod
Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
http://www.woodbutcher.net
Ouch.
That reminds me of the "Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear" line in "The
Monkey Wrench Gang".
-jbb
"Dave Balderstone" <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca> wrote in message
news:190120051948281410%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_S.balderstone.ca...
> But this one's been simmering for a few days...
>
> A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and
> loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
>
> He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and
> found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the
> shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
>
> As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that
> won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance
> while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
>
> He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large
> t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the
> length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able
> to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and
> forth.
>
> I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked
> at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it
> was.
>
> His reply?
>
> "It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with
> rottenstone."
>
> djb <ducking & running>
>
> --
> "The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and
> B,
> sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
On 21 Jan 2005 18:01:40 -0800, the inscrutable "Dave"
<[email protected]> spake:
>...I couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this.
>...that's a long way to tip a rary.
Dark Suckers
----------------------------------------------------------
Please return Stewardess to her original upright position.
--------------------------------------
http://www.diversify.com Tagline-based T-shirts!
"J.B. Bobbitt" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Ouch.
>
> That reminds me of the "Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear" line in "The
> Monkey Wrench Gang".
>
> -jbb
This thread is quickly turning into a groanfest.
B.