(Two fellers stand and look at a pineywood drysink that feller "A" has
just finished building.)
(There has been a long silence prior to our peering into this
colloquy.)
"Ayup."
(Two beats.)
"Yessir, ayup."
(A long pause for deliberation.)
"D'ya think she'll like it?"
"Who?"
(One beat.)
Mah wife, numbnuts. Didcha think I was tawkin' 'bout my girlfriend?"
(Two and a half beats.)
"Ah din't know ya had a girlfriend."
(Half a beat.)
"Ah don't have no girlfriend, numbnuts, ahm tawkin' 'bout mah wife."
(Half a beat.)
"Ya shouldn't tawk 'bout ya wife that way."
(Three full beats.)
"Sigh. . ."
"She won't like it nekkid like this."
"It ain't nekkid, it's just not finished."
"Ya wife don't like nothin' that's nekkid, near as I can tell."
(Three full beats.)
"Yeah."
"How 'bout an oak finish?"
(Two beats.)
"Yeah, oak is always good."
(Two beats.)
"'Course, there's lotsa oak finishes."
(Three beats.)
"Ayup."
(Two beats.)
"Ayup."
(Long pause.)
"I'm partial to that MinWax Golden Oak, mahself."
(Two beats.)
"How will it match?"
(Four beats.)
"How will it match what?"
(One and one-half beats.)
"How will it match what's already in ya house?"
(Long pause.)
"Dunno."
"Well, what's in ya house, now?"
(Two long beats.)
"Formica."
(Two beats.)
"What color?"
(Three beats.)
"Dark brown."
(Long pause.)
"Yah won't be able ta use the Golden Oak, it'll clash."
(Long pause.)
"Yeah."
(Long pause.)
"Might be able to go the Dark Walnut."
(Two beats.)
"Nah, it'll blotch."
"Ya think?"
"Yeah, it'll blotch - it's pineywood, afterall."
(Long - long pause.)
"Yeah, it is pineywood."
(The two go and open another beer for each.)
"Ahm thinkin' 'bout paintin' it."
(Belch - then another.)
"Ayup."
"It is pineywood."
"Ayup, that it is."
(Long pause.)
"Got some Krylon White?"
"Ayup."
(Two beats.)
"That'll be about perfect, ah reckon."
(Careful pause.)
"Ayup, that'll be just about perfect."
Regards, Tom
Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
HEY! What the hell you doin listen in on my shop conversions!
This actually could have been any of my neighbors, the one w1th 11 cars
on blocks, the one with 3 fishin boats that ain't moved in 2 years, the
one with 9 animal sheds constructed with random lumber and billboards...
It sure is interesting in rural NC,
BRuce
Tom Watson wrote:
> (Two fellers stand and look at a pineywood drysink that feller "A" has
> just finished building.)
>
> (There has been a long silence prior to our peering into this
> colloquy.)
>
> "Ayup."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "Yessir, ayup."
>
> (A long pause for deliberation.)
>
> "D'ya think she'll like it?"
>
> "Who?"
>
> (One beat.)
>
> Mah wife, numbnuts. Didcha think I was tawkin' 'bout my girlfriend?"
>
> (Two and a half beats.)
>
> "Ah din't know ya had a girlfriend."
>
> (Half a beat.)
>
> "Ah don't have no girlfriend, numbnuts, ahm tawkin' 'bout mah wife."
>
> (Half a beat.)
>
> "Ya shouldn't tawk 'bout ya wife that way."
>
> (Three full beats.)
>
> "Sigh. . ."
>
> "She won't like it nekkid like this."
>
> "It ain't nekkid, it's just not finished."
>
> "Ya wife don't like nothin' that's nekkid, near as I can tell."
>
> (Three full beats.)
>
> "Yeah."
>
> "How 'bout an oak finish?"
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "Yeah, oak is always good."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "'Course, there's lotsa oak finishes."
>
> (Three beats.)
>
> "Ayup."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "Ayup."
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "I'm partial to that MinWax Golden Oak, mahself."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "How will it match?"
>
> (Four beats.)
>
> "How will it match what?"
>
> (One and one-half beats.)
>
> "How will it match what's already in ya house?"
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "Dunno."
>
> "Well, what's in ya house, now?"
>
> (Two long beats.)
>
> "Formica."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "What color?"
>
> (Three beats.)
>
> "Dark brown."
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "Yah won't be able ta use the Golden Oak, it'll clash."
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "Yeah."
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "Might be able to go the Dark Walnut."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
> "Nah, it'll blotch."
>
> "Ya think?"
>
> "Yeah, it'll blotch - it's pineywood, afterall."
>
> (Long - long pause.)
>
> "Yeah, it is pineywood."
>
>
> (The two go and open another beer for each.)
>
>
> "Ahm thinkin' 'bout paintin' it."
>
> (Belch - then another.)
>
> "Ayup."
>
> "It is pineywood."
>
> "Ayup, that it is."
>
> (Long pause.)
>
> "Got some Krylon White?"
>
> "Ayup."
>
> (Two beats.)
>
>
> "That'll be about perfect, ah reckon."
>
>
> (Careful pause.)
>
>
> "Ayup, that'll be just about perfect."
>
>
>
> Regards, Tom
> Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker
> Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
> http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
--
---
BRuce
BRuce writes:
>This actually could have been any of my neighbors, the one w1th 11 cars
>on blocks, the one with 3 fishin boats that ain't moved in 2 years, the
>one with 9 animal sheds constructed with random lumber and billboards...
>
>It sure is interesting in rural NC,
Rural anywhere, really. I'd include other countries if I knew more about their
rural life--All Things Bright & Beautiful doesn't seem an ideal primer.
Really, a lot of that has to do with not wasting things that are only half-used
up.
Charlie Self
"Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the
pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." H. L. Mencken
Sun, Nov 30, 2003, 10:49am BRuce says:
<snip> This actually could have been any of my neighbors, <snip>
It sure is interesting in rural NC,
I'll have you know, I do not talk with my neighbors, except if they
spot me in the grocery store. There are not 11 vehicles in my yard.
Even including the running ones. None of them sit on blocks. And, the
dog sleeps in the cab of a parts pickup.
JOAT
I suffer from Sumtimes Syndrome. Sumtimes I remember, sumtimes I...
What?
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 30 Nov 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
Tom Watson does it again:
>
>(Two fellers stand and look at a pineywood drysink that feller "A" has
>just finished building.)
>
>(There has been a long silence prior to our peering into this
>colloquy.)
>
>"Ayup."
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"Yessir, ayup."
>
>(A long pause for deliberation.)
>
>"D'ya think she'll like it?"
>
>"Who?"
>
>(One beat.)
>
>Mah wife, numbnuts. Didcha think I was tawkin' 'bout my girlfriend?"
>
>(Two and a half beats.)
>
>"Ah din't know ya had a girlfriend."
>
>(Half a beat.)
>
>"Ah don't have no girlfriend, numbnuts, ahm tawkin' 'bout mah wife."
>
>(Half a beat.)
>
>"Ya shouldn't tawk 'bout ya wife that way."
>
>(Three full beats.)
>
>"Sigh. . ."
>
>"She won't like it nekkid like this."
>
>"It ain't nekkid, it's just not finished."
>
>"Ya wife don't like nothin' that's nekkid, near as I can tell."
>
>(Three full beats.)
>
>"Yeah."
>
>"How 'bout an oak finish?"
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"Yeah, oak is always good."
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"'Course, there's lotsa oak finishes."
>
>(Three beats.)
>
>"Ayup."
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"Ayup."
>
>(Long pause.)
>
>"I'm partial to that MinWax Golden Oak, mahself."
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"How will it match?"
>
>(Four beats.)
>
>"How will it match what?"
>
>(One and one-half beats.)
>
>"How will it match what's already in ya house?"
>
>(Long pause.)
>
>"Dunno."
>
>"Well, what's in ya house, now?"
>
>(Two long beats.)
>
>"Formica."
>
>(Two beats.)
>
>"What color?"
>
>(Three beats.)
>
>"Dark brown."
>
>(Long pause.)
>
>"Yah won't be able ta use the Golden Oak, it'll clash."
>
rest of funny dialogue snipped.
I think I've heard or participated in this conversation a few times, back in my
drinking days.
Charlie Self
"Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the
pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." H. L. Mencken
"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Tom Watson does it again:
"Ayup!"
Glad I swallowed that drink before I got to the end!
Nahmie
sounds like two mainahs..yesha
"Norman D. Crow" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > Tom Watson does it again:
>
> "Ayup!"
>
> Glad I swallowed that drink before I got to the end!
> Nahmie
>
>